One of my favorite things to do is watch relationships fail via social media — hence the reason I’ve never put my relationship status on social media. But have you ever noticed that as soon as a Facebook post pops up saying: “Amy is now single” with that tragic broken heart next to it, an onslaught of: “He was never good enough for you” and “He obviously did something wrong, he’ll regret this” occurs.
No one ever says, “Oh, maybe it just didn’t work out” or “Maybe Amy is a slut and slept with Doug’s best friend”. No matter the actual situation, the general consensus will be that Doug is an asshole and clearly undeserving of any woman’s love, and he definitely does not deserve Amy.
Women complain about double standards in terms of sexual promiscuity and expectations, yet dish out completely one sided critiques of the male gender. In reality, most men aren’t as bad as their respective reputations, women have just painted them in such a light to make themselves feel better.
Recently I was involved in which I was talking to a man. He respectfully informed me that he had met someone else and he was interested in her, and thus proceeded to end things with me. He told me he hadn’t done anything with her until he talked to me about the situation.
Now, whether the story is true or not, I have no proof of. However, this is not the moral of the story. In telling the few people that were aware of the situation I was in what had occurred, they all told me that he was an asshole, and they couldn’t believe he would do that to me.
With each proclamation that I should never speak to him again and that it was disgusting of me to be okay with this, I found myself more and more shocked at the audacity of these individuals claiming that he didn’t deserve me.
What he did was completely honest and reputable. He didn’t go behind my back. He didn’t try to manipulate both of us. While yes, the situation was less than ideal for me, it was handled with class and decency — two qualities I would never attribute to the asshole mentality everyone decided he possessed.
Here’s the thing, ladies. You get mad that men can sleep with you and be respected for it, while you are vilified, but you don’t give them an equal opportunity in any other field. I’d rather be called a slut than have people attack me for being a gentleman.
So the next time you rush off to assure your girlfriend that the man in her life could never possibly deserve her, don’t. That’s most likely not true. It probably just didn’t work out because of issues on both ends, and attacking him won’t help to make anyone feel better — in fact it makes you look just as bad as the arrogant asshole who demeans women, and sometimes they do actually deserve it.