Most early marriages fail primarily because of emotional immaturity and limited life experience. Science plays a role too.
“In our 20s, sometimes we don’t have a strong sense of who we are as an individual,” said Elaine Spencer-Carver, a social-work professor at the University of Missouri-Kansas City.
Young couples may have the chemistry but often lack the history that sustains unions.
“Younger people are more apt to go into marriage with the expectation that the other person is going to fulfill them,” said Peg Donley, a licensed marital therapist in Prairie Village, Kan. “Older people are probably a little more seasoned, more realistic.”
An excerpt, ladies and gentlemen, from an article recently published in the Chicago Tribune. Also found within the article are a few very interesting statistics, such as nearly 50% of marriages result in divorce, and, the one of particular importance in this blog post is the following: 60% of couples married between the ages of 20 and 25 divorce.
Now that we’ve all read that, and I’m sure we all knew that already, can someone tell me exactly why everyone in our age demographic is running of to get hitched? Here’s something to ponder. I bet that if you really love someone, you can wait, because whether you’re twenty or ninety, you’ll be together. And you shouldn’t need a ring to make that known.
Now, in my twenty years, I’ve had a few relationships — none of which I would have EVER considered marriage with. And its not because I wasn’t happy, believe me. But we’re just too young. I don’t know who I am yet, hell, I don’t even have a boyfriend and my peers are out getting married? How is this even real?
In the next five years, my focuses are on finishing school and starting a successful career. Not tying the knot, not putting someone else before myself, just on getting myself sorted out. And don’t you think marriages would be better off if all of this bookkeeping was taken care of before we jumped into what is supposed to be a life-long, sacred commitment?
I remember being a little girl, laying in bed after my daddy read me a bedtime story and asking him, as every little girl does, to marry me. And then I remember his very typical, fatherly response: “Oh, sweetie, we can’t do that because I love your mommy. But one day, you’ll find a man who loves you just as much to marry you, when you’re thirty.” Now, I know my daddy was joking, of course. But, really, what is so wrong with taking that advice we’ve all been given by overprotective parents?
Why, if you are supposed to merge your life with another individual, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, TIL DEATH DO US PART, would we need to rush into that with someone we’ve barely gotten to know? Well, I for one, won’t be marrying at a young age. And yes, the majority of that stems simply from the fact that I haven’t even a prospective groom. But even if I did, if I’m going to get myself a ball and chain, I’ll be damned if I fall into that failed marriage category.